Our friend, Dr. Stephen Sroka, sent us the following idea as a sort of gift for the holidays. We here at Youth Crime Watch of America liked it so much that we wanted to share it with all of you. In Dr. Steve's own words, here's how it goes....
I don't want to die, but if I do...
Being a teacher at heart, I would like to give you an assignment for the holiday season that will bring home the message. This idea came to me after working with schools after students had died, and wondering what I was going to give my wife for Christmas. I now share it at the end of my presentations.
It goes like this. When you get home, think of the person(s) you love the most. Take out a piece of paper. Please, no computers. Use a pencil or pen. At the top of the paper, write:
"I don't want to die, but if I do, I want you to know that..."
In your own handwriting, tell the person what she or he means to you. What does she or he do that makes you laugh, and makes you cry? What are your dreams and fears for her or him? Express your love in a way that if you died, and could come back for only 3 minutes, what would you say? Then give her or him the letter. If you can, watch as the letter is read, since it will probably bring smiles and tears to both of your faces.
This makes for a perfect Christmas gift. It is one that you cannot buy, and one gift that will never be thrown away. It may be read again long after you are gone. It may even become part of your legacy.
I have had conversations from people who have written and received the “I don't want to die” letters. Several have said that it changed the way they looked at life. After an SRO conference, a school resource officer e-mailed me that his marriage was no longer satisfying to him, and he was being tempted to leave his wife for a younger woman. After he wrote the “I don't want to die” letter, he realized how much he loved his wife, and redoubled his efforts to work on his marriage. He thanked me and told me that the letter helped save his marriage. After I spoke at the Kentucky Great Kids Summit, a student sent me a ten-page letter, and on the outside of the large manila envelope wrote, “You changed my life.” My wife told me she would never throw my letter away, although she does not know where it is right now.
I hope you take some time this holiday season to tell the person you love how much she or he means to you. When I speak after a death in schools, I frequently hold crying survivors who tell me that they wished that they had told the person whom they loved, that they loved her or him before she or he died. Sometimes, in life, you don't get a last chance to tell them in person. Write the “I don't want to die” letter now. In today's world, tomorrow may be too late.
Peace, my friends, and warmest holiday thoughts, Steve.
Stephen R. Sroka, Ph.D.,
President, Health Education Consultants
Adjunct Assistant Professor, School of Medicine
Case Western Reserve University
www.DrStephenSroka.com
...“making a difference with the power of one”...
©2007 Dr. Stephen Sroka, all rights reserved